THE RED KRYPTONITE TOUR (Part 6 - 1966 and 1967)

The last installment of this tour guided us through all the red kryptonite stories published in 1965.  Here's a link in case you missed it!

The Red Kryptonite Tour - Part 5 (1965)

Now, we pick up with the next amazing array of Red K tales that were published by DC Comics!  By this time, the trope of the Red K has worn a bit thin, so usage of the meddlesome mineral slows down.  Because of this, we'll be able to cover two years' worth of tales in this entry.  As always, the numbering will pick up from the previous red kryptonite tours.  Enjoy!

89)

In Action Comics #332 (January 1966) an Imaginary Supergirl tale begins. (Red K doesn't really come into play until the following issue.)

Issue #332 sets up this tale of imaginary reversal. In this story, it was Kara who arrived on Earth, became Superwoman, and was shocked to find out that her cousin Kal-El survived on a chunk of Krypton called Argo City. He was rocketed to Earth by his parents when Argo was going to be destroyed. Superwoman puts him in Midvale orphanage and gives him a blond wig to wear in his new secret identity of Cal Ellis. Superwoman then sets out to train this new Superboy how to use his mighty newfound powers. But Kal-El is very impetuous and causes much havoc.

The story continues in Action Comics #333 when Superboy accidentally exposes himself and Superwoman to Red K. The result is that Superboy ages while Superwoman de-ages. This effect is temporary and quite insignificant to the overall plot!

Ultimately, it turns out that this Kal-El is actually quite a loathsome individual and he plots and schemes to break free of Superwoman's influence and attempts to release criminals from the Phantom Zone. Ultimately, Superwoman (with the help of her pal Jimmy Olsen) exposes this Superboy to Gold K, permanently removing his powers. Then she hypnotizes him to forget his past and delivers him to another orphanage far away... to live out the rest of his Earthly life.

90)
In Action Comics #335, Linda Danvers quickly wins several beauty pageants. It appears these pageants have all happened within days of each other! Miss Stanhope, Miss State-Hood, and Miss United States. Then she's off to compete for Miss Universe. We see her go out of her way to cheat the other contestants out of winning.

Then we learn that as Supergirl, she became aware that an alien Miss Cosmos contest was going to pluck a girl from Earth to compete, and that girl would not be able to return. So she set herself up to win in order to find out more. And... you guessed it, she wins the Miss Cosmos pageant. Then it is revealed that the host of the contest, Jak-Thal (presumed no relation to Shayera Thal!), hates beauty, and each year after Miss Cosmos is crowned, he destroys her beauty. He attempts to submit Supergirl to the same process. The tale continues in Action Comics #336 (April 1966).

Supergirl thinks she's immune, but once she gets back to Earth, she discovers that her beauty is gone. Superman attempts to remedy things by haphazardly exposing her to a random chunk of Red K that he doesn't have a clue what effect it will have, but all it does is split ugly Supergirl into two ugly Supergirls. After 24 hours, the effect wears off. (24 hours, 48 hours... consistency be damned!)

Supergirl's Miss Cosmos crown is rocketed to her, with a note requesting she wear it. But she refuses. Later, Dick Malverne wants to take a picture of Linda (she's wearing a pretty Linda-face mask!) with her Miss Universe crown on. She mistakenly puts on the Miss Cosmos crown instead. Unexpectedly, her beauty is restored. Seems Jak-Thal had a change of heart and imbued the crown with an antidote.

91) Red K befuddles Superman yet again, this time in Superman #185 (April 1966). After being exposed, Superman is able to hook himself up to an elaborate, hitherto unseen, machine that can tell him how he will be affected!

He shares with Jimmy Olsen that the kryptonite is making just a portion of his body vulnerable. Jimmy then spends several panels explaining the myth of Achilles, just in case some of the readers may be unfamiliar! Unbeknownst to either of them, a bad guy has been watching them talk about this and reading their lips the entire time. That baddie shares Superman's current Red K affliction with mobster "Gat" Gronn.

Gat commences an elaborate scheme to find out what part of Superman is vulnerable and keeps arranging for arrows to be shot at these body parts. Superman pretends it's his right hand, and Gronn finally thinks he's been able to kill Superman. But it was a ruse. The real area affected? Why, his heel of course... the one area Gronn avoided aiming for because it was too cliche.

Oh, and it should be noted that the elaborate machine from the beginning of this tale was not only able to tell Superman that his heel would be vulnerable, but it also told him that his boot would similarly be affected by the Red K!!

I'm anxious to see if this amazing Red K analyzer turns up again!

92) The next stop on our tour is Superboy #132 (September 1966).

Krypto joins up again with the S.C.P.A. (Space Canine Patrol Agents). They signal him to join them so they can investigate the Cat Crime Club.

The CCC is able to dupe Krypto with some red kryptonite-laced hot dogs, and soon, Krypto finds himself intangible. And thanks to the CCC, Krypto's reputation is damaged.

Krypto resigns from membership in the S.C.P.A. but ultimately earns it back when he exposes the villainy of the C.C.C. and how they framed him.

93)

In Action Comics #344 (December 1966), Superman and Batman test out a new device that Batman says is the greatest thing since color TV! The device is a mind-switch machine. And these two just give it a whirl... as good friends will do from time to time!

Batman has a difficult time adjusting to Superman's powers. (This seems odd given how quickly Lois Lane, Jimmy Olsen, Batwoman, Perry White, Lucy Lane, and Pa Kent took to those powers!) After a brief time in each other's bodies, they switch back.

Shortly after this, Superman begins to have bizarre dreams. Apparently, having bizarre dreams is something Kryptonians don't usually do, because Superman is convinced that these must be caused by red kryptonite. But, of course, he never experienced the normal Red K tingling.

After three such dream events, Batman reveals that when he was in Superman's body, he accidentally blew the lid off a lead box containing kryptonite dust. And get this... that dust came in contact with Batman's body, which had Superman's mind in it, and therefore affected Superman. Follow that? Red kryptonite affects a Kryptonian mind... not a Kryptonian body!! BUT... even though Superman was affected while in Batman's body, he didn't experience the normal tingling because that didn't happen to Batman's body; it happened to Superman's body, which was inhabited at the time by Batman's mind. Seems odd that Batman didn't even ask about the tingling back when it happened!!

Anyhoo. The dreams were all related to things Superman saw while in Batman's body when the Red K dust first touched him. The story was unveiled with lots of clues for readers to see if they could figure things out. Personally, I'm more interested in figuring out why two grown men would want to mind-swap in the first place.

94) Superboy #134 features a very enjoyable Imaginary Story that steers away from some of the sillier Red K tales that had been popping up around this time. After Superboy receives some public recognition, the story essentially resets itself into a different imaginary scenario, taking us back to the moment when Superboy first revealed himself to the world. On an early trip into space, he’s exposed to red kryptonite for the first time. Once he returns to Earth, he starts acting wildly rebellious for reasons no one can understand. He frees criminals, disrespects his elders, wrecks the Smallville school, and becomes a genuine danger to the public.| Naturally, we get the obligatory DC spanking panel (DC was very into corporal punishment during this era), with Pa Kent attempting to discipline his adoptive son. Eventually, the Red K wears off, and Superboy has no memory of any of his bad behavior. Realizing he’s late for class, he changes back into Clark Kent and heads off to school like nothing happened. But the damage is already done. Pa Kent, convinced that his son could be a threat to humanity, goes to the government and reveals Superboy’s identity. The integrity Pa spent years teaching to his son is now being put into practice in the harshest possible way. Superboy/Clark finally pieces together what happened and realizes the red kryptonite’s effects were triggered by rocks. He tries to undo all the harm he caused while under Red K’s influence, but with his secret identity exposed, he’s ultimately forced to leave the Kents and Earth. In the end, the Kents suffer because of the very moral code they worked so hard to instill in their adoptive son.

95) We jump now into 1967! Superman #192 (January 1967) offers up a two-issue imaginary tale (it concludes in Superman #194).

In this story, Superman is exposed to an imaginary combo red/green/gold kryptonite. At first, his suit seems to be radioactive, and it kills life, so he gets rid of it and locks his affected suit up. But later, he loses his superpowers and memory of being Superman.

Superman is missing, and Perry wants Clark to write about his absence. Clark and Lois fall in love and get married. Clark becomes lost for five years in a remote region while on assignment, and when he finally returns, he finds out that Lois had their child while he was gone. And that child has superpowers... but of course, that isn't proof that Clark and Superman are the same person. Instead, Lois believes that Clark Jr. got his powers because particles from a gemstone that Superman once gave Lois ended up in baby Clark's formula! Sure... why not!

There's lots of interaction with Superman robots, and then Lex Luthor causes Lois to be killed, Clark gets his memory back (but not his powers), and young Clark Jr. learns lessons in how to be a true hero, and he eventually assumes the mantle of Superboy.

96) After a few really well-done and sentimental tales involving red kryptonite, we return to the silliness of the red mineral!

For its big centennial issue, Superman's Pal, Jimmy Olsen #100 (March 1967) pulls out all the stops. And along the way, we see how vapid so many of Superman's supporting characters really are.

Jimmy's steady girlfriend flaunts making out with other guys in front of Jimmy. When Jimmy gets upset, he goes through stupid shenanigans to re-impress Lucy. Lucy ultimately admits that all of her making out with other guys, in front of Jimmy, means nothing. Seriously?? And Jimmy falls for this nonsense?

So, after Lucy says that her flings (once again... making out with other men in front of Jimmy) mean nothing, she tells Jimmy she really likes how he's more attentive. Ugh. And to make matters worse, Lucy admits she doesn't want to end up an old maid like her sister. Because of this, and not because of love, she'd like to marry Jimmy. Ugh... Seriously?

So, now Jimmy feels some need to reconnect with hundreds of flings that he has had, spanning modern time and the future Legion of Super-Heroes to princesses on other planets to tell them that he's forsaking all his past loves to marry Lucy. Phew. Glad that's over.

The announcement of Jimmy and Lucy's wedding is national news (you know, given his pal friendship with Superman), and dignitaries from around the world travel to the United States to attend this wedding. In fact, many citizens in Metropolis ponder whether this wedding day will become a National Holiday!!

Jimmy and Lucy set a date, and Superman builds them a house (full of extra rooms for Jimmy's memorabilia and lots of robot versions of Lucy that can make sure the real Lucy never has to lift a finger in life ever again.

These events are being watched by one of Jimmy's spurned love interests, Ms. Gzptlsnz from the 5th dimension. Ms. Gzptlsnz disguises herself as Supergirl and gifts Jimmy with a new Signal Watch and Lucy with some lipstick in a jeweled dispenser.

After Jimmy and Lucy are married, they realize that every time they kiss, Superman is turned into a human/mole hybrid. Rather than try to figure out this mysterious connection, they instead decide they must annul their marriage to protect Superman.

But then, Ms. Gzptlsnz reveals herself and tells Jimmy and Lucy that her new signal watch and lipstick gifts were the cause of Superman's transformations into mole form. The lipstick contains Red K, and when Lucy kisses Jimmy, the new signal watch sends out a signal that transforms Superman.

Jimmy and Lucy get rid of their lipstick and new watch. They ponder an annulment to their marriage. They decide for it, then against it, and then for it again when Lucy becomes upset and jealous of all of Jimmy's old lovers. How fickle for a girl who set off this whole issue by making out with other men in front of her longtime beau.

The marriage is annulled, and there is no word on how all the foreign dignitaries who took time out of their busy schedules just days earlier feel about being duped by such a fickle and immature couple.

97) While Clark Kent and Lana Lang are having burgers, Clark feels the Red K tingle and excuses himself. A patron at a neighboring table is having oysters, and one of the oysters produces a Red K pearl from red kryptonite granules rather than a normal pearl from sand.

Because Clark, now dressed as Superboy, was looking at a monkey when the red kryptonite's effects set in, he was transformed into a monkey. Lana, of course, jumps to the conclusion of Red K the minute she sees a monkey in a Superboy costume. She works to make sure the monkey causes as little harm as possible with his powers. Then, suddenly, there is a second delayed effect on Superboy... he grows into a giant-sized monkey.

Meanwhile, Beppo the Super Monkey decides to randomly check in on Superboy (how convenient!). Seeing a giant monkey, he immediately flies to Smallville. And wouldn't you know it... he flies right by the man with the Red K pearl. And because Beppo was thinking about Clark Kent, he transforms into a young human male who looks just like Clark Kent.

Beppo is able to assist the real Superboy with his secret identity issues around Lana by using his newfound super ventriloquism! Suspicions abated, Superboy and Beppo wait out the Red K timeframe.

This tale is from Superboy #142 (October 1967), and was the final red kryptonite tale for that year!

So there you have it. The DC issues from 1966 and 1967 that featured red kryptonite! In the weeks ahead, we will publish Part 7 (and provide a link here) so that our chronicling of Red K can continue!

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